My Boyfriend, The Space Alien
by littlemusings
Summary: "I'm an alien, Jeff." "No, you look like a wannabe Ghostbuster with a strange fetish for antennas. You just need the extermination gear, big-ass goggles, and then you're already set." Nick and Jeff get ready for Dalton's annual Halloween party. One-shot.


****Disclaimer: ****I don't own _Glee_. If I did, I'd be dirt poor, because the show would have failed. Because weird shit like what is going to happen in this one-shot will happen on the show. I don't own _Ghostbusters _or Valve's supermegafoxyawesomehot game, _Left 4 Dead_.

Written as a companion piece to my first Niff drabble, _Your Suck Is Showing_, just in time for Halloween. This was written in the context that Blaine never transferred to McKinley. Written for fun.

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><p><strong>My Boyfriend, the Space Alien<strong>_  
>Featuring references to Ghostbusters, Left 4 Dead, and other pop-culture nonsense<br>_by littlemusings

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><p>When his boyfriend, Nick Duvall, walked out of their dorm bathroom, Jeff Sterling was appalled.<p>

"Nick."

"What?"

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"What the _fuck _are you wearing?" Jeff snorted, looking at his boyfriend up and down. Nick, fully dressed in a nude-colored bodysuit, black combat boots and a pair of green antennas on top of his head, stared back at Jeff with a confused look, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I'm an alien."

Jeff blinked and kept on staring at him. "No, you look like a wannabe Ghostbuster with a strange fetish for antennas. You just need the extermination gear, big-ass goggles, and then you're already set. Oh, and you'll need three more guys. You could get Wes and David to play Egon and Winston. You could get Blaine to be Peter. Kurt could be Janine."

"Jeff, I'm a fucking alien," Nick rolled his eyes, pointing at the antennas on his head. "And I don't think Kurt would treat you very kindly once he finds out you think he should dress up as Janine."

"He could somehow warp his voice and make it sound…Boston-ish…I guess?" Jeff laughed. "Nick…I love you, but I seriously can't go to the Halloween Party tomorrow night with you wearing a fucking Ghostbuster-alien-thing."

Nick looked at him indignantly. "If you loved me, you'd let me wear it. Plus, you're going as Louis from _Left 4 Dead _to the party. I thought you hated Louis."

"I couldn't find my grandpa's old Vietnam uniform, so Bill was out of the question. And, despite how much I love you, that outfit is horrendous," Jeff sighed. He paused. "Oh, god, I sound like Kurt," he groaned, face-palming himself. "How about you dress up as Zoey?"

"Hell no. Look at my chest. Do you see breasts? No."

"Right. How about we get Kurt to curl your hair tomorrow so you can be Nathan from _Misfits_?" Jeff suggested, shrugging. He plopped down on his bed, thinking. Nick followed suit and wondered out loud:

"I could be Nick from L4D2," he quipped. Jeff looked at him.

"That would be cool. Same name and all of that jazz."

"Indeed."

"Nah, that's too fucking easy."

"HEY!" Nick argued, "If that's the case, then you can't be Louis! _That's too fucking easy_," he mocked, pulling his antennas off and poking Jeff's side with them. Jeff jumped aside, nearly falling off the bed in surprise and gave his boyfriend a death glare.

"My dear Nicholas Alexander Duvall, you are dead to me," he growled with faux fury, pointing at him with a pale finger. "Do you want another pillow fight?"

Nick stood up on his mattress, holding his antennas out like a sword. "No pillows. Just our bare hands and my antennas."

"You sound quite suggestive, my dear Nicholas," Jeff quirked an eyebrow, sticking his tongue out. Nick glared at him, his face flushing. "Kidding, kidding!"

Jeff jumped on the bed, gave Nick a quick kiss on the cheek, and jumped off. Nick ran after him in his combat boots, letting out a battle cry that rivaled Jeff's and they ended up circling the dormitory once, then dashed out of their door and into the hallway, laughing shouting at one another. Some of the other Dalton boys poked their heads out of their rooms, giving Nick and Jeff bemused looks, and some pulled out their cell phones to take a video of the happenings.

Blaine and Kurt stuck their heads outside Blaine's door (Kurt had come to visit) and ducked as Nick ran by, waving his green antennas everywhere, shouting "COME BACK HERE, MY DEAR JEFFREY!"

"BLAINE! KURT! I'M BEING ABDUCTED BY AN ALIEN!" they heard Jeff call out. "HE'S GOING TO FUCKING PROBE ME!"

"In more ways that one…" Blaine laughed under his breath. Kurt punched him in the shoulder gently, laughing at Blaine's immaturity.

"…Is this normal?" he asked wearily, looking at his boyfriend confusedly. Blaine nodded, pursing his lips as he took Kurt's hand.

"Very. They do this at least once a year, but it sounds a lot more suggestive now that they're dating. They tend to chase each other around violently at least once a week. This is pretty normal."

They followed the other couple, and ran down the hallway to see what was going on. Wes and David, who were rummaging through their pockets to find their cameras, met them at the end of the hallway, where the two boyfriends were running around, laughing. Nick had Jeff by the waist, poking him relentlessly with his neon-green antennas. The blonde boy tried to stifle his loud laughter, but to no avail.

"This is priceless," David guffawed, clutching at his sides as he videotaped the two running around the dormitory lounge.

"This is adorable," Kurt exclaimed as Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. "Oh, my god, what on earth is Nick holding?"

"A neon-green…something," Wes tried to reason, scrutinizing Nick's hand.

"Antennas," Blaine supplied. "I think…I think that's supposed to be his costume for the annual Halloween party, if I'm not mistaken…"

"It's disgusting!" Kurt griped, sticking his tongue out. "He looks naked."

Blaine frowned and looked at Kurt who rolled his eyes. "Just an observation."

"Stop it, Nick!" Jeff shouted between laughs. "Oh, dear god."

"I see what you mean by the 'suggestiveness,'" Kurt spluttered between laughs.

The playfully quarrelling boyfriends fell over on the lounge couch and immersed in a quick tickle-fight.

"Our dear 3-6 Mafia is hard at work," David grinned, clapping his hands together.

"J—Jeff, stop it!" Nick exclaimed. Now Jeff had the power—the antennas—in his hand and proceeded to poke his unsuspecting boyfriend with them gently. "JEFFREY!"

Jeff threw the antennas aside and kissed Nick squarely on the lips. Nick quirked an eyebrow and pushed Jeff off of him and then kissed him back.

This exchanged occurred for a few minutes and got quite heated until David cleared his throat.

"Um, boys, your room is that way," David stage-whispered, cupping his mouth with his hands. Nick and Jeff separated and went to opposite sides of the couch, flushing a furious shade of red.

"You're a fucking cockblock," Kurt frowned.

David shrugged and gave him a smug smile. "I try my best, I really do."

The four boys sat down on the couch opposite the 3-6 Mafia and smiled at them. Nick and Jeff stared at them blankly.

"What in the name of Alexander McQueen do you think you're wearing, Nicholas?" Kurt asked disgustedly, staring at Nick's nude-colored outfit. Nick shrugged.

"I'm a space alien."

"I told you Kurt would say something," Jeff reasoned.

Nick knitted his eyebrows. "You told me that he could have played Janine if we had a group-_Ghostbusters _theme for the party tomorrow."

"Wait, you wanted me to be _Janine?_" Kurt spluttered, rising off the couch in anger. Blaine pushed him down gently. "I will not be typecast in your little themed soiree!"

"We were joking, we were joking!" Jeff exclaimed, holding his hands in front of his face to protect himself.

"More like, _you _were joking!" Nick snorted. "Don't bring me into this!"

"I am a man!" Kurt exclaimed, snapping at Jeff. "I will not deal with you—" he picked up the fallen antennas— "typecasting me as the chick in all of this! Why couldn't I have been Winston? Or whoever?" Kurt stood up, pointing the antennas at Jeff like a sword.

Blaine tried to be subtle with his laughter, but he let out a loud snort, which called the attention of the other five boys. Blaine bit his bottom lip and blinked, looking blankly at a spot ahead.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I love you," Blaine said happily, then went back to biting his lower lip to stifle his laughter.

"Blaine, do you think I could pull off that ridiculous voice? No, right?"

Blaine shook his head fervently. "But you would look quite nice in those glasses."

Kurt poked Blaine with the antennas and Blaine jolted and jumped off the couch defensively.

"Oh, god, Blaine, not you, too."

The two boys started running around the hallways, just as Nick and Jeff did, only they went straight back to Blaine's room.

Wes, David, Jeff, and Nick looked at each other and let out a loud laugh.

"Damn it, Kurt has my antennas," Nick muttered.

Jeff patted his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "That's good. That means I won't have to introduce you to those girls from Crawford at the Halloween Party tomorrow as 'my boyfriend, the space alien.'"

"Can I just go as Nick?"

"Yeah, you can go as Nick."

The two boys took each other's hands and walked back to their dormitory, leaving David and Wes sitting in the lounge.

Wes looked at David. "You really are a fucking cockblock."

"It's my specialty."

A minute passed as they sat in silence.

"David—"

"What?"

"Yeah, you're a cockblock," Wes reasoned, nodding to himself. He stood up and walked back to his dorm room, leaving David alone in the lounge. He looked around and waited until he heard the _click _of Wes' door shut, and he broke out into song.

"_Something strange, in your neighborhood. Who are you gonna call? Ghostbusters!_"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>It seems that whenever I write Niff, L4D is involved. Or any pop-culture phenomenons. My headcanon is that Nick and Jeff are both super pop-culture junkies and like ghosts, aliens, zombies, and whatnot. Except for vampires. They hate Edward. And all other vampires. Also, cockblocking!David and scenes of couple-ish, fluffy violence is always involved with a dash or mention of Klaine. Niff always has that love-hate relationship in my writing.

I'm thinking of making a Niff compilation. What do you think? Thanks for reading! Please leave a review! It would be much appreciated!


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